WHAT’S HE DOING IN THERE?

Episode #449 · Fritz Leiber · Narrated by Scott Miller

He went where no Martian ever went before—but would he come out—or had he gone for good?

What’s He Doing in There? is a light, humorous science-fiction story by Fritz Leiber, first published in 1957. The story follows a polite, soft-spoken Martian who arrives on Earth after secretly learning English from radio and television broadcasts. Instead of seeking out governments or scientists, he wisely chooses to contact a cultural anthropologist first — a man eager to study alien customs.

Everything seems perfectly calm until the Martian excuses himself and disappears into the family bathroom… and stays there. Minutes turn into an hour, then longer, and the professor’s household begins to panic. Why is he running the water? Is he ill? Is he conducting some kind of alien ritual? Is he experimenting? Is he drowning? The family debates everything from cultural taboos to possible interplanetary disasters — and no one wants to be the first person in history to knock on the bathroom door of a Martian.

Leiber turns a simple domestic scene into a comedy of curiosity and nerves, letting the tension build while the professor, his wife, and their children imagine every possible explanation. The joke is not just the mystery, but how humans react when faced with the unknown — with worry, speculation, and a touch of self-importance. It’s gentle satire from a writer who understood that science fiction can be funny without losing its insight.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Fritz Leiber (1910–1992) was one of the major figures of 20th-century speculative fiction and one of the first writers to blend horror, fantasy, and science fiction with a modern, human voice. Born in Chicago, he wrote everything from psychological ghost stories to space satire, and helped create the “sword and sorcery” genre through his famous Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser stories.

Leiber’s work earned the Hugo, Nebula, and World Fantasy Awards, and he is often credited with bringing literary style and emotional depth into pulp-era storytelling. Whether exploring cosmic dread, urban hauntings, or the anxieties of hosting a Martian houseguest, he wrote with humor, intelligence, and a keen sense of how strange ordinary life can be.

LISTEN TO THE STORY

Listen to What’s He Doing in There? by Fritz Leiber — a sharp classic sci-fi tale of Martians, secrecy, and curiosity. Hear this clever story today!

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The Lost Sci-Fi Podcast is the most listened-to vintage science fiction podcast in the world. Ranked the #1 Science Fiction Podcast in 43 countries and heard in more than 190 countries, the show has surpassed 4.2 million listens.

Each episode features carefully selected stories from the Golden Age of science fiction, professionally narrated. Timeless storytelling the way it was meant to be heard.

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